Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
