Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
