i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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