I want to stick my p in your. b.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All I want is dick and wine.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
