I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize