Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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