i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
