She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
