shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
