He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
