In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
