So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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