i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
