I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
