I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
