walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
