I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
