you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
