So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
