Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
