I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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