its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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