so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
