I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
