remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
