You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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