Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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