There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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