he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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