i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
