Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
