I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
