how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
