drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
