I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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