i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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