How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize