Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
