i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
