That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
