she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
its not stalking. its research.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
