so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
