I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
