Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
