I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
