i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We had to coat check the pizza.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
