i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
3pm strippers are depressing
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
