saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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