I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
