At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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