apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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