I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
