doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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