she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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