just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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