Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
