At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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