I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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