i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
