idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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